11/11
November 11th, or 11/11 has always been a special number to me – also written 11:11. It’s a long stupid story but involves a group of three girls in high school where one of the girl’s nickname was 11:11. Mine was 54. Who knows why really? It’s a sordid tale of some girls getting involved in some ouija board things and a teacher in a neighboring town that had a crush (seriously) on 11:11 and led us all mentally through this “thing” of reading certain books, marks left on a bench in a military park… and now look back at the age of 34… it’s a little funny. I was probably half my age then. Still seems like not that long ago.
What that has to do with the rest of my post is obvious – not a thing. We just got back from a week in Vegas with some 50 something neighbors to play golf. We agreed on price, splitting the golf, splitting the food, etc… and splitting the rental car. We initially had told the guy, Jim, that we were going to attempt to get free rental since hubby travels a lot and rents from Avis a lot. Apparently Jim held that belief deeply and when we found out we had to upgrade because Jim’s wife brought 4 suitcases and not enough room in the current rental deal, we ended up getting stuck with the entire $550.00 rental. Jim’s thought was that he did his part of the deal to get good golf (we could have done without his help), so don’t worry about paying that $34 parking ticket for the week parking at the airport because “friends are more important than that.” WHAT?! I am thinking of sending an email to just explain what I perceived happening. I just need him to know what he did for some strange reason.
As far as the pregnancy goes, all is still well, though I worried about the rage I felt coming back from the vacation from hell. That can’t be healthy.
Sunset in Hawai’i
I sure loved my vacation, but it is over and real world back in my face tomorrow.
Returning from Vacation
That’s always fun. Get your mind of trying to have a baby for seconds at a time rather than never. I found the vacation very relaxing, and I got 3 rounds of golf in with my hubby at three different resort golf courses. I loved it. I have pictures to share, but will have to work on that another time. I have to admit unshamefully that ridding of the thermometer during vacation was well worth it. I’m thinking of only temping right before ovulation and 5 temps after. That’s it. I’d like to stop all of that altogether because I firmly believe the more I do in TTC, the more likely I will NOT have a pregnancy. I know people say to relax, but unfortunately it’s true. Also unfortunately is the vicious cycle not getting pregnant and increasing anxiety… it’s the snowball that rolls downhill and keeps growing.
I’m tired of it. I’m praying that God will remove my desire to want to be a mom. I’m praying that somehow He will take it from me so that I can move on with my life.
TTC is ruining my life. It ruined the past 12 months. I don’t want to continue living this way.
Saturday Thoughts…
I love this weekend because the weather is back to the warm temps of Spring, and I am off of work on Monday. So far, I’m loving the new schedule I have of working four ten hour days. The days are longer, but not by much. I’m planning on golfing tomorrow, mulching and grocery shopping today, oh! and get my hair done… that’s a big deal!
I went in for my 3rd weigh in at Weight Watchers. I’ve lost a total of 6.2 lbs with them. Not bad, but I was hoping for faster weight loss. Our Hawaii vacation is in 19 days – I’d love to have another 6-7 lbs off for over 10 lbs total. I’d love to be in the 140’s by then. We’ll see. I have to start planning where we are going to play golf on the Big Island and what days to do what. I’m not really much of a planner, so it’s hard for me to research and KNOW exactly what to do. I’m more of a “fly by the seat of my pants” kind of girl. I think the key in the continued weight loss is exercise. I ran 4 times this past week… and I walked once. I need to do something everyday!
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