I remember when I got pregnant with this baby that my mother had promised that she would stay with me for awhile and help me with everything but the baby. However, when the baby came, it turned into my parents visiting two nights in a row bringing food and just sitting and holding the baby. They had visited him countless times in the hospital as well and even once mom volunteered to go with me one night to drop off breast milk. I told her I was on percocet and didn’t need to drive, yet when she arrived at my house (just 5 mins away) she wanted me to drive. So I did. It’s almost like she doesn’t have any confidence in driving to a place she had visited 5-6 times at least. And I was on percocet. Figures.
After the second night in a row of them visiting, it hit me that my mother wasn’t going to help me like she said she would. Instead, she got herself a job and only spent one night with me. In fact right now I think she’s not taking my calls today because I didn’t allow her and my dad to come over this past Sunday because I needed to sit around without a bra trying to nurse him (not much luck) and letting my breasts dry out because I feel like I’m fighting thrush. Figures. So because it wasn’t a good time for hubby and me for them to come, she’s now not taking my calls.
The last phone call I had with her Sunday was strange… but it was the usual. Basically I told her a lactation consultant was coming over on Monday and that we were having newborn pictures taken almost an hour away. I told her about how bad my nipples felt. She immediately told me about how my dad had received a pseudo job offer from someone back home and that they could move back. My hubby’s sister warned me that my mother had told her that she didn’t have any friends here and that she is sitting up all night emailing her friends back home. On the phone she told me about the pseudo job offer sort of in a way to make me feel bad. It’s hard to explain but it’s sort of like a guilt trip, though it makes me sad to admit that… because my brother (who has YET TO STILL CALL ME AFTER HAVING A BABY) made an arse of himself by announcing at my wedding that my mom was the queen of the guilt trips… I don’t agree with that, but my mother is forgetting one thing. It’s not all about her… I know that she wants to see the baby more, but I’ve only had him for two weeks right now, but by the way she is acting and communicating with me, it’s like she hasn’t seen him in years. Then she told me that Dad was going out of town. And then she wanted to know when was a good time to come over because she wanted to see hubby and me. Yeah right. I told her she didn’t have to pretend…
She came over last Thursday and helped me out immensely. But three days later, Grandparent Syndrome is back where it’s all about her.
The problem is folks is that right now we’re on an every 3 hour schedule. I breastfeed with a nipple shield for 20 mins each breast and then supplement with pumped breast milk 22-30mL and then pump whatever is left in the breasts. Then change him and put him down. This takes about an hour or over. Then repeat in 3 hours. See the problem? Not much sleep. Thus the reason why I haven’t blogged, been on the internet, or even been out much.
I wouldn’t change things for the world. I already want another baby - to try in about 8 months or so. I don’t want little baby here to be alone. I figure since I’ll be 70 when he’s my age, it’d be nice if he had one other family member and not an only child. Haven’t got hubby on board yet.